The Promised Land is not For Fat People

I was standing on the front porch of my new home in California, the one I've worked on for three years as a gift to myself. I was looking at the mountains folding over on themselves and my yard filled with oak, pine, and redwood trees, thinking how this property is really graced by God, a promised land, and I suddenly said to myself: I do not want to be an unhealthy fat person standing in the doorway of this beautiful house.

--Oprah Winfrey, as posted on her website, Oprah.com

Let me preface this by saying(something that will probably make you think I'm nuts), I love Oprah. I don't know why but she's one of my greatest guilty pleasures whenever I get to catch the show on a sick day from work. I'm like one of those flies that just goes riiiiiiiiiiiiight into zeeee light.... That said...Damn, that bitch is crazy.

I almost lost my lunch when I read it that quote on Oprah.com. (Please, don't judge me...we all get bored at work sometimes!) Honestly, I'm terrified of people who think they've done ANYTHING that entitles them to be a "HAVE" vs. a "HAVE NOT."

I know I'm taking it a little too far...but Oprah's stupid remarks reak of a bigger philosophy shared by her and many other powerful and wealthy people. That those who do well, do so because they deserve it or "worked for it" while those of us who don't do as well, must have been Hitler in a previous life. Yah, you see that AIDS victim in Africa pregnant, poor, and raped when she was 9 buy a guerilla soldier...Hitler. Same for all those victims of poverty, repression and civil war...yup...Hitler...

And what's with fat people? Why do they think they deserve a nice home, a nice family, a nice life. What the F*ck Oprah???....

I don't know why I still watch that woman's show...I mean, maybe she can't be all that ruthless... she does fly her private jet all the way to Africa and sprinkle the village people with coins of gold every now and again. And she's done wonders in inspiring fat housewives to get up off their asses and earn a right to a beautiful life through diet and exercise...

Oh Oprah, I can just see you standing there on your pristine property, arms crossed over your bosom, thanking the Lord there are no fat people in a 30 mile radius allowed near your home to block the sun.

San Francisco

Just got back from one of the best weekends of my life. I never thought I could be so overwhelmed in just four days...but there's so much to California. It gets to you.

I left Boston on Friday night after work. Got to San Francisco late at night, and tried to make it out to some bars but we missed last call. Not to worry, though...we would definitely have a lot to do the next day on Saturday....

First off, I was expecting to wake up to some serious clouds and rain, since the weather reports promised me a very wet and dreary weekend...however, the first thing that greeted us as we left Ryan's apartment in the Mission was the bright California sun...not a cloud in the sky! We headed straight to one of the only brunch restaraunts open at the ungodly early hours of 10am (Californians are late risers), and had a breakfast that you would only find a unique place like the Mission--Mexican style beans, sweet plantain cakes, and spicy eggs...

After breakfast we explored San Francisco on foot, up and down all sorts of fabulous hills, and managed to walk through the Mission, to the Castro, and to North Beach. Naturally one of my first pit stops had to be Ferlinghetti's City Lights Bookstore. Purchased a few good books, including, of course, a City Lights published copy of Howl. (That one was for Jeff.)

Next stop was Chinatown, where we discovered an amazing tea house run by a sweet family. The owner accosted us and yelled, "What are you tea inspectors?! Don't just stand there! Sit down and drink something for God's sake!" And that we did.

After some heart jolting amounts of green and oolong teas, we decided it would be a great time for a run. We got our jogging clothes from Ryan's and headed straight to one of the most beautiful parks I've ever seen--Golden Gate Park. Beautiful. Surrounded by palm trees, randomly growing lillies, and exotic flowers I'd never seen before, we ran 3 or 4 miles. It was amazing!

We decided that we earned ourselves a nice dinner and headed over to We Be Sushi, where we had some of the best eggplant sushi I've ever tasted....I couldn't believe that this was my first day in San Francisco--everything was just too perfect.

We ended the evening with a visit to Martuni's. This bar was a non-descript, little dimly lit piano bar that just exuded this quiet old-Hollywood feel. It was just...lovely.

The next day: The world at your wheels...

We rode our bikes all over creation on Sunday. It was quite insane how much biking we did. And I have to proud and brag--I only walked my bike up 2 hills. That is quite an accomplishment for a comfort bike rider from the relatively flat terrain of Boston--I was on a street bike, and couldn't get the gears right. But we made it from one end of the city to the other, and then over the Golden Gate Bridge. We spent about 4 or 5 hours on our bicycles and had an amazing, and truly, breathtaking experience.

And finally, what trip to Northern California would be complete without a trip to wine country.
Just the drive to the wineries was worthy of a trip in and of itself. We went to two wineries and we might as well have been in Tuscany, because that's how romantic and insanely beautiful the scenery was. (Well, I've never been to Tuscany, but I hear its that gorgeous).

You haven't experienced scenic driving until you do some heart thumping cliff driving along the coast. We discovered the dangerous beauty of Rt. 1 on our way back to S.F. from wine country when we decided to take a side trip to Muir Woods. And boy are those redwoods tall...Spending most of my time in east coast cities, it was hard for me to imagine what drives some of the ballsier tree hugging hippies who tie themselves to threatned trees. But there really is something so alive, and personal about these beautiful wooded areas...Nature really is much more overwhelming in California.

I spent the last day of my trip in California on a relaxing boat ride around the bay with stunning views of the bridge and Alcatraz. The last attraction I visited was the Haight-Ashbury section of town--which I'm glad I saved for last, because this part of town really is highly over-rated--in any case, I'm still glad I got to see it.

I was so sad to leave San Francisco that I begrudgingly left after dinner with Ryan at Ali Baba's (one of the best f*cking falafal places in the world, btw) and I almost missed my flight.

Well, it was on to the red eye and straight to work from the airport...

Tired, mystified, and shocked by the cold I almost had forgotten, I wondered if I had dreamed up the past weekend.

I really am in love with that city.